Conor’s rejected campaign slogans for VP of the First Year Class

By Conor | September 14th, 2008 | 7 Comments »

Scorp elections have arrived!

Scorp is the NYU Stern government student body - though the name itself, Scorp, tends to conjure up images of a super-villain.

One imagines Wesley Snipes, in that breathy, tax-evading voice of his, grunting “Scorp… I knew you’d show your undead face around here sooner or later…” and Scorp, who would have some kind of javelin-sized piercing through his lip, would say something unoriginal (“Say your prayers to that ridiculous God of yours, Blaaaade!”) and then throw something pointy at Wesley Snipes.

But that’s not what NYU Stern Scorp is. And I should know. I’m running for VP of the First Year Class and it’s pretty much a prerequisite that I understand that Scorp is in fact Stern’s Student Government and not an undead vampire.

It’s an exciting time. I thought the election for VP would be stressful, but it’s actually been a fun experience so far. The rules are fairly straightforward and reasonable. For example, in past elections candidates were allowed to do giveaways, but there was concern about spending limits. (Which begs the question, what were these impoverished students giving away by the hundred? iPods?)

Anyway, I’m not sure that cheap giveaways are something that will put a candidate over the top. Would free candy really sway b-school students? If I stood outside with a pail of Nerds™ that people could just grab by the fistful, would that inspire the masses? Is anybody going to say: you know that dude with the Nerds™? Which one was he? What was his stance on having more chocolate milk in the cafeteria – for or against?

The upshot of it is that I’m not giving anything away. It was suggested that I could create buttons, but does anybody want extra flair? I feel like buttons went out of style around the time the fashion world was ablaze with the latest corsets and watch fobs.

I do, however, like the idea of wearing a button-sized politicial message around school.

One potentially pertinent message for my own campaign could be, for example, “Conor + Stern + Puppies = VP for First Year Students!!!” but I’m not sure that makes any sense; I would have to check the math again.

Or I could use my campaign buttons to express a more global message - like a button that said “Drop Firms and Markets, Not Bombs” with all the flags of the world behind it. I have to assume that would unify the powerful anti-war/anti-microeconomics lobby.

Or thinking more innovatively: “Conor Grennan for VP of the First Year Class: He’s not only totally (adjective) but he’ll make an amazing (noun)!!!.” That would certainly save time on my end thinking of a campaign slogan, and it could be fun, like Mad Libs, and everybody would be busting a gut.

Or maybe I could just make a button with a photo of Colin Powell. People freakin’ love Colin Powell.

In the end, I did not go with a button. And my classmates are better off for it.

The truth is, we have only a few days of campaigning. People will vote for who they vote for. I can’t imagine that posters and buttons and slogans are going to make the big difference here.

I think they’ll look for somebody they trust to work hard and somebody who is accessible, who they can speak to about issues they want to raise.

And who loooooves puppies!!!!! Like Conor.